So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
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This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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