these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
