a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize