that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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