Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
