Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
