Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
