We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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