Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
