Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
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My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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