Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
