youre lurking in front of me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
