Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
