I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
