were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
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You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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