You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
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2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
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Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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