I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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