I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I smell stomach acid.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
