just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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