Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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