we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
