i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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