I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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