just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize