She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
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And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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