you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
