I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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