Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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