your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
