Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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