2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
