Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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