While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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