Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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