i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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