What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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