Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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