you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
