I don't think brook has ever known best
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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