We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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