Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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