Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle