just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
they're like a gay fantastic four
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
