Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
