Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
