benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
