Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize