Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
