hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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