maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
