oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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