Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
