dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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