Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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