i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
