there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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